Valentine’s Day 5-Step Guide for Online Dating
Author’s Note: This article is intended for singles only. For those who are deeply in love with their soulmate, we are all very happy for you, and we wish you and your significant other a wonderful and mesmerizingly romantic Valentine’s Day. Yay for you. Now, please leave.
It’s that magical time of year again when lovers celebrate their commitment with heartfelt cards and candlelit dinners, while everybody who is single gets to hear all about it — pictures included — on social media.
To commemorate this special Valentine’s Day 2014, I’ve come up with a 5-Step Guide for online dating in the hope that it may assist all who are single and looking for someone in time for Valentine’s Day 2015.
Here we go...
Step #1: Get Over the Stigma
At some point not too long ago, the idea of finding love online seemed a bit of a faux pas, if not downright creepy. The Internet was for checking your email on AOL or downloading music on Napster. Our personal lives were a separate entity from the World Wide Web, with “real” life not beginning in earnest until the moment we were done surfing the Net. Remember when we used the phrase “Surfing the Net”? Fast forward to the present and such clear boundaries between our tangible and virtual lives have blurred a bit. It’s 2014 now, and we do just about everything online. We bank online, we shop online, we read local news and interesting articles (like this one) on a variety of topics online. We find new jobs on Monster and sell old couches on Craigslist. We manage our professional contacts on LinkedIn, while sharing (and “liking” and “following”) our social lives with friend and family members on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. In this digitally-available and robustly networked world the idea that you should meet your romantic interests exclusively without the power and reach provided by the Internet is a peculiar and outdated one, and I suggest you ignore it. If you currently find yourself meeting lots of interesting, attractive, single people in the produce department, the bookstore or through mutual friends, then great. Keep up the good work. And quit reading this article, because you don’t need it. If, however, you are not running into potential Prince or Princess Charmings as often as you like during your daily routine, then get over the stigma already and consider trying your luck at love online. And then keep reading to find out how.Step #2: Be Yourself Online
Though it’s likely in the running for "Most Overused Cliche in the English Language," successful online dating requires you to “be yourself.” Joining a dating website will involve creating a profile, which will, in turn, involve posting pictures of yourself along with a bunch of information about your likes and dislikes, your personality, your interests, etc. — you’re already on Facebook so you I’m sure you know the drill.

Step #3: Be Active
Signing up for a dating website and thinking you’ll just fall into the perfect relationship is like showing up to college and expecting to graduate Summa Cum Laude. It’s not going to happen. In school, you gotta get to class and study to earn the grades. Dating online is of a similar nature — if you want to meet someone special, it requires effort. You can’t simply write a profile, post a picture of yourself, and then wait for Ms. or Mr. Right to contact you. You need to try a little more than that.
In regular, non-online life, golden opportunities rarely present themselves to those who don’t take the time to look for them. The online dating world functions in much the same way.
So, once you’ve created your clear and honest profile as described in Step #2, get active!
If you see someone you find attractive, say hello. If you read a profile you think is funny or one that resonates with you, send the person a note and say so. If you spot someone who, just like you, happens to love winter, Matchbox 20, John Hughes' movies, deep-fried pickles and stoned-washed jeans, then shoot this person a note. Bottom line: Standing in the corner and staring into your drink doesn’t help you meet new people in your “regular” life, and it won’t do the trick online either. Get online and get active!Step #4: Arrange Simple First Dates
Okay, you’ve followed the first three steps, and now you are ready for your first date with someone you’ve met online. This is great news! But now what? Three (or four) words: Keep it simple (stupid). I know this is another silly cliché, and I empathize with the diehard romantics out there who like to fill their dates with lots of creativity— I am one of you — but six-hour "Super First Dates" involving dinner, scuba diving, kite flying and a traditional Japanese origami class tend to be overkill and, even worse, can really backfire. There are exceptions, but often times, you can tell whether or not you truly “click” with someone within the first 20 or 30 minutes of meeting them. If you’ve already arranged for a full evening of romantic-ish activities, it can be rather awkward and less-than-fun to spend all of Friday or Saturday night on a date with someone whom you clearly share no romantic chemistry. Instead of pre-arranging a grandiose, over-the-top agenda for your first date, do something simple that will allow the two of you some casual, low-pressure time to talk and get to know each other better.
While elaborate first dates can be creative and cool, if there is zero chemistry, they can also lead to drawn-out dating disasters that may dampen your enthusiasm for future dates.
Keep it simple for now.
Step #5: Maintain Reasonable Expectations -- Just Relax and Repeat Step #2 (Except in person this time)
The last step may seem easy, but for many people, it can be one of the most challenging obstacles to having success via online dating. The hard truth is this: the odds you’re going to meet your soulmate on you first online date are pretty slim. Online dating can be effective if you give it some time and effort, but it isn't magical and it comes with no guarantee of immediate success. That’s just the reality of it. It’s nothing personal — I’m sure you are a wonderful catch. It is the unfortunate mathematical consequence of the old adage “there are plenty of fish in the sea.” There are a wide variety of fish out there that are not your type, so it’s tough to catch a keeper on your first cast.
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There you have it. A definitive "5-Step Guide to Online Dating" designed to find you a Valentine by February 14th, 2015.
Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone — singles and couple alike!
Final Author’s Note: Couples, please keep the sappy stuff to a minimum on Facebook today. We get it—you’re madly in love and rapturously happy. Great. Woot. Woot.
Photos via: Brent Lee and Google
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